Wisconsin Declares War... :)

From Clem...

The President was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang.
"Hello, Mr. President," a heavily accented Norwegian voice said.
"'Dis here is Nels, over here at the Rod and Gun Club in Iola,
Wisconsin.  Ve don't like some a yer policies so I am callin' to tell ya that we are officially declaring war on ya!" 

"Well, Nels," the President replied, "This is indeed important news!  How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Nels, after a moment's calculation, "there is myself,  my cousin Knute, my next-door-neighbor Lars, and the whole pool team  from the Rod & Gun.  That makes eight!"

The President paused, "I must tell you Nels that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

 "Wow," said Nels, "I'll haf ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Nels called again.  "Mr. President, da war is  still on!  We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

 "And what equipment would that be, Nels?" the President asked.

  "Vell sir, ve got two combines, a bulldozer, and Sigurd's farm tractor."

 The President sighed.  

"I must tell you Nels, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.  Also I've increased my army  to one and a half million since we last spoke." 

"All right den, said Nels.  "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Nels rang again the next day.  

"Mr. President, da war is still on!  We have managed to git ourselves airborne!  We up an' modified Lars' ultra-light vit a couple'a shotguns in da cockpit, and four boys from the coffee shop haf joined us as vell!"

 The President was silent for a minute then cleared his throat.  "I must tell you, Nels, that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes.  My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.  And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Two million you say?," said Nels, "l'll haf' to call ya back." 

 Sure enough, Nels called again the next day. 

 "Mr. President!  I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war." 

"I'm sorry to hear that," said the President.  "Why the sudden change of heart?" 

Vell, sir," said Nels, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long
chat over a few beers, and come to realize that dar's yust no vay ve
can feed two million prisoners."

 WISCONSIN CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

I'm not actually from Wisconsin but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express one time.

Stay safe.