20 July 2017

Some of you know, some of you don't...

My world was turned upside down and inside out on the 12th of April when my wife of 44 years passed away suddenly and unexpectedly.  She was barely 18, I was barely 19, when we married.

She was diagnosed with a UTI on Sunday the 9th at our local Urgent Care clinic.  On Tuesday the 11th she asked me to take her to the ER.  Mistakes were made, but she was sick.  She shouldn't be gone, but she is.  She passed at 1350 on the 12th of April.  I was with her every moment.  I have gone from being incredibly angry at the ER doc and his staff, to being incredibly sad.  The ER was a shit show from the time we arrived until they pushed her unconscious body to the ICU 3 hours later.  Perhaps someday I will share the story...

We should have had at least 20 more years together. 

She was my best friend, my everything.  I love her more than life.

Anyway, for those who have asked where I am at, I am gone.  For now, anyway.  My fire is merely a few embers right now.









Judy Lynn
27 May 1955 - 12 April 2017  
Peace.



60 comments:

  1. I am very sorry to hear this. You have my sincere sympathy. I can't imagine what it would be like not having my wife of 43 years.

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  2. Hang in there Blue. Take as much time as you need. May the good Lord be with you.

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  3. Oh, I'm so sorry. I was just thinking this morning if you were okay. What a terrible thing to happen.

    I hope you will have the strength to share with us, sometime, someday.

    Do you have children or other family to help in your time of sorrow?

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  4. Very sorry to hear this, Blue; I was wondering what happened to your blog.
    My prayers will be offered up for your beloved Missus, and for your peace as well.
    God bless, dt

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  5. I offer my condolences again, Blue. Send me some words if you need to, Brother.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear about our loss. My condolences.

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  7. Very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine. I don't deal in medical malpractice claims, but I know people who do. If you want a consultation, let me know and I will send you contact info.

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  8. Sorry for your loss, You and She will be in my prayers.

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  9. Never know quite what to say in situations like this . . . usually better if I say as little as possible.

    All I know is that I've been with Milady since 1961, over half a century, and wouldn't know what the hell to do in her permanent absence.

    Can't say I know how much it hurts . . . how much it sucks . . . only imagine, and it ain't good.

    Hang, Bud. My sincerest condolences.

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  10. God is with you, even if it doesn't feel like He is right now...

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  11. Pete... Yes. Yes he is. ;) I never lose sight of that.

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  12. I am so very sorry. May God wrap you in His arms and give you comfort and peace.

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  13. My condolences and sicerest sympathy

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  14. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless

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  15. The more I learn about health care the less the two words seem to go together. I am so sorry.

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  16. All I can say is I'm sorry for it happening. Peace Brother.

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  17. I am so very sorry. I wish you strength and it is my hope that you will find a fulfilling future for yourself and your family.

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  18. My most sincere condolences.

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  19. I had missed your blog, I am so sorry for your loss

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  20. I had no idea of your loss and am so sorry to hear of this. I have no words that will make you feel better. Think of the good and better times and keep on putting one foot in front of the other.

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  21. Deepest and most sincere condolences to you, Blue. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Take your time and get your head right, we'll wait for you. Peace.

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  22. No words can adequately ease your pain. You need a break to mourn and heal. Never let go of the memories. May you find he peace you need

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  23. Thank to all of you. I appreciate your thoughts.

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  25. There are no words. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  26. Ach! My heart just aches for you.
    Hold on. You will see each other again.
    (((Hugs!!!)))
    BarbaCat

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  27. My thoughts and prayers are with you.....God Speed.

    Locked and Loaded

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  28. my wife's and my prayers are for you. we are very close in age and time married. I would be a lost soul without my Janie

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  29. Peace my friend, whom I have never met. I've been missing you and wondering, "what's wrong?". My sincere condolences. As someone in the medical field I hope someday, you can tell the story, if for no other reason to help others. If you choose not to, that's ok too.

    Again, so sorry to hear this news. We don't know each other, but I do know you're a good man, and know from experience that a good woman helps makes us a better man more than we could have ever been on our own.

    God bless,

    J

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  30. I cannot imagine.

    We be praying for you, bro.

    Bob

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  31. I am very sorry... The health care system killed my father. 8 years later and I am still bitter. My condolences to you.
    Annie in Ocala

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  32. Sir, my heart breaks for your loss. You and your wife will be in my prayers.

    Patrick Ryan

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  33. Condolences...

    Godspeed...

    John in Alaska

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  34. My respects and sincere condolences sir.
    I hope that time brings you some measure of peace.

    Bryn, Isle of Anglesey, UK.

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  35. I'm so very sorry, Blue. I figured you were probably struggling with grief when you stopped posting for a while, and have been praying for God to comfort you. It takes time to get back on your feet again and figure out a new normal, and it's not a process that can be rushed. Thank you for letting us know so we can stand with you.

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  36. I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you.

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  37. I am so sorry to hear this. Will be praying for you and Judy Lynn.

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  38. Wish I could say something great and inspiring but I have no words... All I can say is 2nd Corinthians 5:8 says " We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord."
    Peace be with you brother and know she is in a better place than we are. We still suffer, and she walks the streets of gold.
    God bless you brother and thank you and yours for your service and sacrifice.

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  39. I have no words to offer except I am so sorry. I cannot imagine the grief. I will say a prayer for you both.

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  40. Take all the time you need. I lost my parents in a plane crash 42.5 years ago. I think of them everyday. They were in their 40's. My grieving has never stopped. My anger at what ever deity or powers that may exist (and my pea brain doesn't comprehend) that shouldn't don't allow good people to die horribly has never lessened or cease. Take care and carry on - she would want it that way. She will never leave you.

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  41. I am so sorry for your loss-Judy should not have died from that. From experience all I can tell you is that you will not get over this but you will get use to this. You will learn what the term bittersweet memories mean. Don't let anyone tell you to snap out of it.You mourn as long as you need to. We humans were not created by God to die but to live forever in a paradise garden like eden. Death is not normal for us. Think what Judy would have told you to do if she knew you were going to outlive her. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I always say, the person who dies has it easy, the ones who have to go on living have it the hardest. DOn't give up on life-Judy would not have wanted it.

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  42. Wow, I am truly sorry for your loss. Yes, ER Doctors are shit. They are only trained for a few things. They've jacked me around a couple of times. RIP Judy

    Donn

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  43. Hang in there trooper.

    Sometimes there just isn't any rhyme or reason to life & death. Enjoy the memories of time you did have.

    God bless.

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  44. I cannot add any words that will make sense of this more than those who have already been here. Just one more of the people who have been blessed by your blog, and who are saddened by your loss and the pain you have to endure. I am blown away that the day of your loss is actually the birthday of my first born, my daughter. Somehow, the blessing of my baby from 37 years ago coincided with such a tragedy for you. I don't know why this happened, and I can't guess the reasons that God made the universe the way He did. I know that we were not there when He laid the foundations of it all. I know also in my heart of hearts, that God is in heaven this very moment, weeping at your loss with you. I trust that, just as much as I trust that she is wrapped in His loving arms waiting for you to arrive there to sit next to her on His lap, and see His face. May the love that you shared give you peace and may God give you grace, in the coming days, and months and years ahead.

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  45. I am very sad for your loss, and my heart goes out to you. My recent experiences in ER make your story only too believable.

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  46. Condolences. We humans have a hard time imagining outliving the ones we love. It just never seems like that should be. Take care of yourself!

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  47. No one can tell you how or why. No one can say how long the pain and hurt will last. I can tell you about mine and others can tell you about theirs. We are all different and so yours will be too. Grab hold of and use your faith in god, friends, and the memories. They will make you strong enough to endure what it is we all experience in our lives. Others have been where you now are, and can help if you need. You were not alone before and are not alone now.

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  48. Sincerest condolences, Blue. Saddened to hear this. My wife and I celebrate 44 years this August. We've had our bumpy spots, but it's been a tremendously wonderful ride. I feel the same way you feel about Judy Lynn. Just remember to remember the good times.

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  49. May the Lord bless and keep you Blue.You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
    Jeffery

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  50. Sending love and prayers your way. A hurt that will only be helped with time. So, so sorry.

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  51. I am sorry for your loss. May your heart find peace at the end of this troubled path.

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  52. So, so very sorry to hear of the loss of your soulmate. God bless you and may His love be a salve for your broken heart. All good wishes for you.

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  53. Thanks to each of you for your kind thoughts and words. It means a lot to me.

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  54. Blue, I am sooo sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest condolences. You are in my thoughts my friend.

    John

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  55. I am so sorry to hear of your tragedy, turn to God and cast your sorrows to Him.
    Miss Violet

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  56. DOn't give up on life-Judy would not have wanted it.


    ทางบ้าน

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  57. I know where your comming from i lost my wife of 54 years just last oct.they say time is a great healer i will never heal no matter how long.

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  58. Anon: I am sorry to hear of your loss. I am nearly a year into this and I still hurt every single day. When I think back to how I felt 10 months ago I can honestly say that I am better today than I was then. I know it will never go away. Peace.

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Sorry about the word verification. I've had enough of the fucking spammers.