"I'd like to apply for the job," he said. "I was a Navy Sea Wolf pilot, flying Huey`s in support of the Navy SEALS, spec war operators back in 'Nam, but when they retired the Sea Wolves, all the thrill was gone, and soon they cashed me in as well. I learned to play the piano at Officers' Club happy hours, so here I am."
The barkeep wasn't too sure about this doubtful looking old guy,but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off. So, why not give him a try.....?
The old pilot shuffled his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced. What followed was a rhapsody of soaring music unlike anything heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn't a dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the old Sea Wolf pilot a beer and asked him the name of the song he had just played. It's called "Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I'm Going Balls To The Wall For You" he said. After along pull from the beer, leaving it empty, he said "I wrote it myself."
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player just went on into a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished, the Sea Wolf pilot acknowledged the applause, downed a second offered mug, and told the crowd the song was called, "Big Boobs Make My Afterburner Light."
He then launched into another mesmerizing song and everyone in the room was enthralled. He announced that it was the latest rendition of his song, "Spread 'em Baby, It's Foggy Out Tonight and I Need To See The Centerline", excused himself and headed for the john.
When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, "Hey, fly boy, the job is yours; but do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?"
"Know it?" the old pilot replied, "Hell, I wrote it!"
There are old pilots and there are bold pilots but there are no old bold pilots... (Something my flight instructor told me many, many years ago...)
Yep! One of those old nags that will never die and still be staging at the starting gate long after we are gone! Do you suppose the Spartans used to tell their version of that to "Boots" in their time fighting the Persians?
I first heard a Navy variant of it in the late '60s and had not thought of it in years. Thanks for the great big smile it gave me when that "old friend" popped up unexpectedly.
Oh, BTW the Navy version includes a monkey! Damn Squids!
"Damn Squids..." ;)
My younger brother sent a response when I posted this on the fb... He claims it is a true story, except the pilot flew Cobras in the Army. Care to guess what my little brother did in the Army? LOL.
Take care. ;)
That last line could read: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll pick it up."
Coffee. Nose. Keyboard.
Dick... Yes, that would work, too... ;)
Anon... I feel your pain ;) LOL.
Excellent! I had heard the "redneck" version before. It is a good one for all the ages.
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